It’s not a blog until you slam other blogs.

I love Jezebel–it’s one of my favorite blogs because it toes a graceful line between celebrity fashion missteps and deadly serious current events–but their resident self-appointed memoirist, Moe, needs an editor.

Look, that is my role in this economy, you can take it or leave it, and sure, there are truth-tellers out there who don’t have any alcohol dependency issues, but if they try to tell you they have no dependency issues, my friend, that truth they are peddling is Lite, and Lite tastes like shit to me, all of which I say, ha ha ha, in “lite” of a NY Times story out today, on how the poor economy is slowing down women’s “progress” in the workforce, sending them home to their families and threatening our struggle to achieve parity in the quantifiable ways we can use to calculate the slope of the trajectory of our emancipation.

That’s a sentence. She goes on to sort of draw parallels between “The Wackness” and the recent New York Times piece about recession’s impact upon women. She then takes a lengthy time-out for an anecdote about crying in a McDonalds at 5:30am, which then sort of segues into how she had “known half the halfway houses in Philadelphia, not because I’d been addicted to anything but because I was an anxious young reporter assigned to a sort of nebulous urban blight beat and desperately sure I might as well be.” And then she actually realizes how ridiculous this post has become (“Jesus Christ, what was this post about? oh wait, the wage gap, seriously?”) and then talks about how people are interdependent and that’s okay or something. And then she ends the whole thing on a grand note of:

And yeah, that is obvious, but in the moment it can feel totally, like, wack, but then you step away for awhile and maybe have a beer and read what you’ve written and think “No my friend, your brain is what is wack, maybe look into Wellbutrin next time you contemplate leaving the workforce.”

And somehow we’re supposed to deduce from this rambling trainwreck of a post that Moe has left Jezebel to go work for Radar. What? Okay. Bye.