Thoughts on The Hills

August 24, 2008 at 12:45 pm 1 comment

Perez Hilton got his hands on a list of compensation-per-episode figures for each main cast member of The Hills.

Lauren Conrad: $75,000 per episode
Heidi Montag: $65,000 per episode
Spencer Pratt: $65,000 per episode
Audrina Patridge: $35,000 per episode
Whitney Port: $20,000 per episode
Brody Jenner: $10,000 per episode
Lauren “Lo” Bosworth: $10,000 per episode
Stephanie Pratt: $8,000 per episode

Apparently the only reason Lauren gets as much as she does is because her contract stipulates that no one be paid more than her. That’s a good move on her lawyer’s part–anyone who watches The Hills and has two brain cells to rub together knows a few things about what the show’s really about.

Lauren is the dullest character/human being ever. The only reason I look forward to seeing her on the show is because I dig her hair.

Hay gurl howd you do that?

Hay gurl I like your styles.

The only way Lauren could win back my actual non-hair-related interest would be if she decided her intense possessiveness toward her female friends was a product of repressed-till-now homosexuality and ran off to become a cattle rancher in Montana. Think about it, LC: how do you really feel?

Audrina is, in fact, the true female lead (if we’re still counting Heidi as a bad guy and not a protagonist). Between her relationship with that mumbly enigma Justin Bobby and her attempt to fire all engines to get away from Lauren’s rabid lesbianism fascist friendship, she’s got the most interesting storyline by far. Now if only someone at MTV will spring to correct that mildly lazy eye.

It's endearing, kind of.

Finally, Spencer Pratt deserves, like, ten million dollars for every minute he appears on screen. Period. Check out this classic bit of dialogue between him and his sister.

Stephanie Pratt: [Holding back tears.] “You’re making me cry right now.”
Spencer Pratt: “You’re making yourself cry, thinking about what you did.”

Zing! Modern Shakespeare right there. I only wish he’d cut that grody flesh-colored beard.

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Entry filed under: culture. Tags: .

A day at the Fair A room with a view

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. alycia  |  October 25, 2008 at 1:43 am

    oh lazy eye, that’s what that is? I just thought she was boring and lacking in facial expresssion like all the rest of them.

    Reply

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