Why hasn’t someone thought of this before?

When my 2nd(ish) grade class went on a field trip to a historic schoolhouse–Cahill School, for local reference, now overlooking Highway 100 from its perch across the street from a Perkins–we learned that its turn-of-the-century students used to heat up potatoes and slip them into their pockets before leaving their homes in the morning.

I have one response to that quaint frontier mindset, and it is heated pants. Marked down from $270 to the low, low price of $121. Forget flying cars; here’s the future we’ve been waiting for.